So I Sampled 2 Dozen Psycho Donuts

Donuts.

My love for them continues to grow at an alarming rate for someone who less than a year ago would have chosen almost any other dessert over a donut. Ice cream still wins in my dessert world, but I have a newfound appreciation for these deep-friend, doughy, delightful delicacies. I also really like alliteration.

One of my favorite things about traveling for work is researching all the different restaurants and foods that I need to try – because, shockingly, there is food to be eaten outside of New York City.

While researching where one should chow down in San Jose, California, I discovered what appeared to be a donut mecca. A shop called Psycho Donuts, featured on Food Network’s Donut Challenge. One look at the menu and I knew I’d be stopping there. Multiple times.

My coworkers simultaneously loved and hated me when I showed up to the office on Day 1 with a dozen donuts from Psycho.

I had walked into Psycho Donuts and asked for a dozen of their most popular donuts – and then proceeded to say, “But make sure you include a ____...oh and a ___, and ____....better throw in a ____ too.” So by the end I essentially created the entire dozen myself but what else would you expect from the food Nazi?

 Day 1’s Dozen: 

Nutella the Hun – “Nutella, sprinkles & chocolate cake make him a mighty force in our donut army. You’ll be raiding our cases for more.”

This wasn’t very Nutella-y and I’m not a huge sprinkles person. I know, they’re pretty. But ever just eaten plain sprinkles? They taste like wax. Not delicious. Not necessary.

Jekyll & Hyde – “Can’t decide which one of you to be today? Go schizo and dive into both sides of this chocolaty goodness.” 

Disclaimer: I didn’t try each and every donut. I would have. But, I think I would have been judged.

Cereal Killer – “A Psycho Favorite! Dexter Morgan and Jack the Ripper? They got nothin’ on this Cap’n Crunchberries donut.”
This donut just screams, “Instagram me!” Much like the birthday cake cream cheese from Tompkins Square bagels, this donut was a pleasant surprise – its instagramability wasn’t acting as a disguise for a subpar donut, it was actually delicious!

(The Cereal Killer is ready for its close up)

Marla – “This maple beauty will have you cheating on your best donut. She’s rich and creamy with Butterfinger and p’nut butter.”
I mean, read the description. Enough said.

S’Mores – “We bring the campfire to you! Real marshmallow, graham crackers, chocolate…don’t! A Psycho Signature.”
Another beauty, although the toppings trumped the donut.

Dead Elvis – “You’ll think you died on the throne! Cream filled, bananas, bacon, peanut butter and jelly. It’s a hunka hunka donut love!”
Going into this donut adventure, I knew that this one was made for me, and it did NOT disappoint. This was by far my favorite donut, though, dare I say it- I could have done without the bacon.  Basically, to me, a filled donut far exceeds an unfilled donut. This donut combines a jelly donut with a Boston cream and adds my two favorite things – peanut butter and banana. Genius.

Raspberry Road Rash – “Don’t fall off the donut wagon! This donut will bring you back from the skids with cheesecake icing and real raspberry dust.”
I’m not one for fruity donuts, and this one was WAY WAY fruity, but holy hell they are not kidding when they say this has real raspberry dust. Kudos for that! Everyone assumed it was red velvet, and open taking a bite, they were in for quite the surprise.

Kooky Monster – “A customer favorite, topped with crushed Orea cookies and blue drizzle. It will leave you all googly-eyed and wantin’ MORE!!”
Also highly Instagram-worthy, the Kooky Monster wasn’t anything killer, but at the same time, anything with Oreos can’t be bad. Can we also acknowledge that the description features the word “drizzle?”

Sticky Monkey – “Bananas Foster in Donut form! Before you drool, don’t forget the salted caramel. Get one in your mouth, NOW!”
Really, get one of these in your mouth. Everyone who came up to inspect the box and pick their donut thought they had this one all figured out, “Oh that’s an apple fritter right?” Nope. No. Wrong. So wrong. This is no mere fritter. This gave the Dead Elvis some serious competition for donut deity.

Suicide Squeeze – “Designed by our favorite little league team – The Psycho Donuts. They went all of nothing with Oreo dust and dark chocolate filling!”
Didn’t try this one either, but I did take a little taste of the chocolate filling and it was a little bit of a disappointment. It wasn’t pudding-y enough for me – it was more like a mousse.

Boston Scream Pie – “A donut so good that it will make you scream! Skull adorned, chocolate frosted, and filled with vanilla custard.”
This one wasn’t anything special, but it was solid and the Boston Cream is a classic, for good reason.

‘Mello Submarine – “Who doesn’t love an old fashioned Rice Krispie Treat? Our friends Snap, Jrackle and Pop are stuck on this one.”
If a donut with cream, peanut butter, banana, bacon and jelly sounds like too much for you – this might be more your speed. It was yummo but not super crazy.

(Top Row Left to Right: Boston Scream Pie, Suicide Squeeze, Dead Elvis, Kooky Monster

Middle Row Left to Right: Marla, Nutella the Hun, Cereal Killer, S'Mores, Jekyll & Hyde, 'Mello Submarine, Raspberry Road Rash, Sticky Monkey)

Obviously, once I realized we had tried less than HALF the donuts at Psycho, I knew another trip was in order. Unfortunately, I had either a stomach bug or food poisoning. You know I was feeling like crap because I didn’t get to eat ANY of these donuts except for a few nibbles here and there.

Day 2’s Dozen:

Repeated: ‘Mello Submarine accidentally and Nutella the Hun and S’Mores for the birthday girl!

Cinnamon Troll- “This fearsome troll is under your bridge to happiness. Its light glaze will have you on your way to greener pastures. “
This thing was a monstrosity. A beautiful monstrosity.

Buttermilf – “How does dis muddah go down? She’s like hot knife througb uttah I tell you. Take one home and get your just desserts!”
Another good option for people who don’t want to take a bite of donut and feel like they instantly clogged in artery, gained 15 pounds and developed diabetes. Chances are, all these things still happened, but you can convince yourself otherwise due to its plain nature.

Some Off Menu Donut – With peanut butter AND Nutella. Yeah.

The Dirty Turtle – “The Psycho nurses love turtles! This tasty terrapin has been wallowing in cheesecake, Oreo dust and caramel!”
Everyone said this one was really “heavy,” as if that was a bad thing?

Canadian Morning Squeal Meal – “This one will make you sit up and say ‘eh!’ A tasty buttermilk bar topped with maple icing, bacon bits and chocolate drizzle.”
I wept that I couldn’t stomach a bite of this. “Drizzle” making another appearance on the menu.

Rocky Road – “This bumpy, nutty, oh-so-rocky road is the Highway to Heaven. Chocolate cake donut, chocolate icing, peanuts and ‘mallows!”
Would you hate me if I said I don’t love chocolate cake?

Apricotology – “A-pri-cot-to-logy(n): the study of fresh apricots in perfectly-fried donut dough on the human psyche!”
My coworkers learned their lesson and said, “Ok, I know none of these are normal. What’s that one?” A lot of surprised, “Oh! That’s actually really good” for this one.

Headbanger- “Death metal knocked this guy off his rocker! If raspberry jelly filling gives you a head rush, he’s your head trauma man!”

Strawberry Fields – “Something to get hung about! Strawberry icing, freeze-dried strawberries & a Pocky stick. Deliciousness forever!”
Hold up. Deliciousness is actually a word?
I know I said I’m not a fruity donut person, but I did find myself enjoying the small piece of this that I tried. 

(Top Row Left to Right: Strawberry Fields, Buttermilf, Apricotology, Cinnamon Troll

Middle Row Left to Right: 'Mello Submarine, Nutella the Hun, S'More, Canadian Morning Squeal Meal

Bottom Row Left to Right: Headbanger, PB Nutella, Dirty Turtle, Rocky Road)

We missed a few (was really hoping to try the hilariously named Michael Jackson donut – a chocolate cake donut covered in white powdered sugar) but I think that overall, we done good!

If you ever find yourself in California, go psycho for donuts! They have a shop in San Jose and a shop in Campbell.