Thursday, August 21, 2014

Confessions of a Missed Training Run

Last week and this week of marathon training has been HARD.

Forget the happy go lucky Facebook statuses about beautiful 16 mile runs. Forget the cheerful Instagrams from my 6:30 a.m. workouts. Yes, I love those moments. But overall, training is damn tiring and I am certainly not perfect. This is my first time training for a marathon and I’m still trying to find my way.

So I need to confess. I woke up this morning when my alarm went off at 5 a.m., stood up, and OUCH. My legs were really unhappy with me. My quality time with the foam roller has been seriously slacking. It’s summer and it's hot out and while I know I should wear my compression socks to bed, sometimes I just don’t feel like it damnit. Stretching takes time and is boring. Yes, I admit that these are all things that I am consciously deciding to skimp on, and I shouldn’t be. For these reasons, I was sore as all hell this morning (those Grotto steps at Gracie Mansion are no joke, people).  

I had been planning on running 9 miles alone in Central Park. It was dark out. I was tired. My body is exhausted from two consecutive weeks running over 30 miles. I know that teaching your body to run despite being tired is all part of marathon training, because I’ll sure as hell be tired at some point during a 26.2 mile run.

But not having Tiffanie or November Project waiting for me outside of my dark and comfy apartment, not having that helpful motivator called accountability, combined with absolute exhaustion and soreness convinced me to crawl back into my bed.

I reset my alarm for 6:00 a.m., telling myself that I would at least get in a quality loop of the park- closer to 6 miles than my prescribed 9, but better than nothing.

As I crawled back into bed, my legs seized up in cramps. Uhm, ow? Was it a sign I should just skip today’s run? Or was I just looking for an excuse? These are the things I asked myself as I dozed back off.

Alarm goes off at 6:00. Why, why, why? Typically, I have no problem hopping out of bed when my alarm goes off.  Overall, I’m one of those annoying morning people. So on the mornings when I feel this sluggish, I try to listen to my body, clearly telling me that it’s not feelin’ rested. But I had a happy hour planned for tonight, and a beer pong tournament, and I wanted to be able to eat nachos and chicken fingers and potato skins at the bar knowing that I had gotten a solid run in!

“Well, maybe I’ll just sleep a littttttle longer, get out on the road by 6:45, and at least get in 3 miles. Seriously, I need at least a little cardio before work or the day is going to drag.”

Alarm re-set for 6:30. Doze off again.

Alarm goes off at 6:30. This run is just not going to happen, and I finally need to admit it to myself. I’m disappointed. This isn’t like me. When I know I have to get something done, when I know that I have 9 miles to run, I do it, no questions asked. I’ve skipped a morning run before, but only because I knew if push came to shove I could get it done after work. This morning, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to make it up later.


Anyone out there have any words of wisdom? 

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Who of us hasn't considered how our peers will react to our performance in a given race, whether good or bad? And in those moments, whom are we ultimately running for? The sport is difficult enough as it is; doing it for anyone but ourselves makes it unsustainable.

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